在爱情的事界， 你永远站在付出比较多的一方。受的伤害也比他多一倍

Many thing happened with me having nobody to talk to bout.

Really emo but putting on a happy front for ppl to this

This time I really did it.. and everybody believe le.

I feel so lonely now..

i hate this feeling but i can't change it.

Finger really hurt.. Injured at the wrong timing.. Nobody will care bout me getting pain now..

I trust no one now

No matter who i tell

information will still go back to the person that i dun want

them to know cos i know they will get hurt. I hate it.

I'm leaving

Chris hate himself for being born in such a family where Chris have a bitch mother that blame her kids that she marry such a useless husband. but have she ever think thru bout it that, Chris wasn't born before you two fucking get married. so why are you fucking putting the blame on me? Chris is only 21 this year. yet for the pass 21 year. never had once had him had a happy day to leave by not needed to worried bout the bill and the house loan. You go around asking, who on earth will make a 14 year old kids to work and support himself till now? YOU FUCKING GO ASK!

If you really think someone is to be blame for all this. BLAME YOURSELF!!! CCB You never know how much damage you have done to your kid. Maybe it's because I owe you too much then this lifetime have to pay you back. Don't worry.. If you keep on pushing, you will be the first one in Singapore to FORCE YOUR OWN KIDS TO DIE. I promise. Although I'm scare of dying, but I dun mind eat 3 boxes of panedol and die in my own room. People may think "Come on, you die in your room she confirm will know de lei" but you are wrong. Like what I tell everybody, SHE DUN FUCKING CARE IF I'M DEAD OR WHAT! CCBKNN...

I really hate her.. hate this family. To the core.. once I have the money to leave I will..

McD will only hired me as a Floor Manager which is part time then slowly promote. I didn't tell her, I'm also not intending to tell her. It's time to show her. How bad his son can be when she step over the fucking line. It's time ... For me to create a mess of her life and die.

Who ask her from the start to make me feel like a unwanted child. Who ask her to make me feel like a child with no parent?

WHO FUCKING CB ASK HER!!!!!!!!! PJO HKL; SR JO; S JIO;SG JO; HIO; KNNBCCB

FUCK


This is how I feel.. only.. what my heart be thinking all this while.

Maybe I should really go.. Maybe I should .. I dunno...
Dear, Genie, Kak, JC, AA & shirley.. Should I? i only tag 6 of u is becos .. I trust that you all will keep to yourself..

I dunno why am i feeling emo /sad now. I'm so numb to the feeling of emo and sad le.. I t's seem to be so normal for me to feel that way.. I sometime really hate myself..

I have far to many things to worry plus a mother and father that don't care bout me at all. I hate it..

Ppl that once enter my heart nv leave.. It's make my heart so small now.. With them not leaving.. I'm left with so little space to let other in.

I

am

crying

but

I

dunno

why

Chris

EMO!!!!!!!!!!

Was looking thru photo just now.. Saw melvin tan photo.. gt the urge to sms/call him..

Maybe I know I will do it sometime after the breakup.. so i didn't save his number.. Now.. I totally forgotten his number.. no way i can contact him le.. I hate myself for can't let go of things..

Adler, Alvin, Melvin all this is in the past le.. But .. I just can't let go of them.. No matter wat they did.. I just can't forget them.. Maybe that's me ba.. I can't change it..

Anyway, I'm going KL on the 22-25 with bosses and few SA fren.. Hope I can enjoy there.. I'm really tired of my life.. I dunno what I can expect from ppl...

My mum and Dad is a problem.. My brother another.. Myself also another.. Problem just come one after another.. Every time when I think I think I can be positive, the next minutes, negative things start pouring into my brain . Hais.. Life been good for me so far.. I wun say it's fair cos it's not.. but it's not bad..

2010 have started for 4 days.. means I'm going to ORDs in 9 week time.. Time really flies when you think back in BMT with SQ10 and FI Fedrick. Now, I have been a Police for 1 year ++ many things happend though out the duration. Dog bite, heart break, losing of fren, losing of Authority. I can say it has been a meaningful 2 year for me..

2010 my wish is simple.

1) Get Attach

2) Have a BIG 21 Celebration!

3) Earn enough money to own a car.

Wishes are not realistic so I dun have high hope for it.. 2 & 3 I can work hard for it.. but.. 1 I can't do it alone..

Christopher

(Can't sleep now.. I really hope to get a warm hug from someone that truly love me)

T_T