All Story comes with an ending

Story starts from the date 8 Nov 1989..... Thru out the years, you may have in one way or another read this blog before.. Today I'm going to write a full summary of it...

I never a clever child since I was young.. Never.. Thru primary school, I had my report book back full of red line (meaning all failed) but with good comment from teacher.... I was ugly and not popular in schools, I never had close friend.. Somehow or rather, primary pass in a blink of eyes and I was in secondary..

I choose SKSS as it was one of the nearest and it was also the few that my marks for PSLE will enable me to go into.
Sec 1 - Went in to normal tech stream. Had great teacher that motivate us to work hard.. Changes my marks from red to normal till top 3 in that stream...

Sec 2 - Took on some leadership role in school.. Learn to manage.. Got closest with a few classmate.. Started working at McDonalds once I reach 14.. Known a few buddy..

Sec 3 - Balancing between working and studying was never easy but with heart not wanting to lose heart, I maintain my result and work hard to get money.. Started not being very str8 (if you get what I mean)

Sec 4 - Major year.. Most parent would had stop their children to work part time as they wanted good result for their kids but not mine. I work thru the years and even when having N level, I worked after all my exam and study when I'm back at home... Promoted to Floor Manager in Mcdonald and the youngest in the market to be in management in the age of 16.

Ended secondary school life with a pretty much good result and went on to ITE.. Why I didn't choose to retake to go poly ? Read on  you will know.

ITE Year 1 - Works as a management got more and more... Spend less and less time in school.. hitting the lowest record of 10% attendance once..  S&W teacher didn't even know that I'm in his class when he saw me.. Thought I was from other class..

ITE Year 2 - Same as year one.. Work work work.. non stop..

Ended ITE with a 2.2GPA and went over to army.

Ever wonder why I didn't went on to poly or uni? It was because of a speak from my mum : You wan study to where also can, so long that you have the money to pay on your own. As a teenagers, how much money can you earn to survive the poly days? I'm so drain to balance ITE life and work, I can't imagine how I will look like if I really did went to poly. Sometime like working 6 days str8, study 7 days str8 after work? 

It was never about how much hardship I can take, it was about how you bring the message to your kids. If you are not really to be parent, please abort the kids. Don't make them suffer thru their life.

National Service - The whole two years was an eventful one. Many things happened and it does change my thinking here and there.. but I'm just going to touch on two..
BMT - During BMT, once of my squad mate passed away.. Without any notification (Who give notification anyway) It left his family sad and crying... Which make me think, if I leave the world now, will I have regret ? I thought I would have but I regret that I leave on till now..

K9 - During the whole 1 year plus in it. I learn a lot. From how to groom to how to administer medicate for canine. I was bitten once by my dog eschier. If I would have know that it will be my last time touching him, I would have hug him tight before I leave the kennel that day to hospital. He was my first dog.. My beloved one. His passed away was a great impact to me, I cry almost a week and force myself to recover as life needs to go on.. I still dream of him at times, running around happily with chain and restriction. Another things that hurt my deeply happened is, when I was admitted to NUH, my family came to see me immediately, at my heart I was thinking, they still do care a lot for me but that was not the case, the actual facts was, they was thinking about the money. The first line my mum ask was not how is my wound or will my life be endanger. She asked: HOW MUCH ARE YOU GOING TO COMPANSATE HIM. A mother, you mother, rushing to hospital to see if your son are dead so that you can get money out of it. How funny... I always thought all this will only happened in TV show.. It happens to me now.. I cried, not because of the wound that eschier gave but the knife that she use to stab me, the knife that she stab str8 thru my heart and twist around. From that very moment on, to me, she is just another woman. Not a mother, or anybody related to me.  She hurt me that deep that the wound is much worst then what eschier had gave. It some thing that will never recover, never.

My family was lovely from the start but everything change with dad stop working. Everything change, they fight day in day out. Neglected my brother, making him into what he is today. They only know how to puts the blame but never think thru what is the root of the problem. They are not ready to be parent they are not. They make the kids suffer, make their parent worry about them, make everybody around them feel sad for them but it was all due to their fault. If they never choose to had sex choose to married, everything would had change. I don't mind being both to some poor family as long as they are willing to guide me to be a good human but I mind having parent that give birth to you are an side effect of sex life.

My life have never been good with the existent of my parent... All they want is to enjoy sex and make the side effect (Kids) to be money tree.. Dear parent, life does not work this way. You ripe what you plant. You seriously think you will get money by planting hate and hurt? You only get the same things back. Stop telling me how nice you are when I was young. You all was never nice when I'm 14 onwards.
You stopped hugging me
You stopped kissing me good night
You stopped saying I love you son
You stopped bring me around
You stop family outing
You stop my life
You ended my study life with your works

You created my life and I will end it before you get anything else from me. Don't worry, I did not buy any insurance so I can save you from asking, My money tree die already, how much money am I getting. As I can answer you, You will get nothing but bad debt to clear. You will lead a life of torture and regret. Regret that you did not treat me well and regret that all that you did in the past, all the hurt you did to me and all come back to you.

I became not str8 when I was 14.. When I started working in McD, when my first bf (which was then my best friend) ask me to sleep over at his house. I started to stay at his house more then my own to avoid seeing my parent. Slowly we because couple and I stayed at his house for almost a year in which my parent did not realise as to them, it's just a money tree went outside to grow and thinking that it will come back to drop money to them. My first lasted for 3 years and ended on my enlistment day, he told me he found someone else and I had to move on. Another TV show common, breaking on enlistment day. I cried thru the BMT days and move on to playing around, dating so many guys that I cannot remember all right now. I change from dressing to character, from being Mr Nice to Miss Bitch. Years have pass and I do have boyfriend that I missed but I only want to talk about one.
M.T: I know him thru IRC.. Met up with him in north point, went for movie.. Started dating when he is studying in SP. The r/s lasted 3 month. We went thru up and down and he was hurt in 1000 and 1 ways. He cried, he wanted to end his life, he went into depression cause of me but to me at that time, he was just trying to make me go back to him but this year after some incident, I realise that. All those thing he do was not to threaten me to go back to him but it was a way of showing his sad and a way to show how much love he had for me. I'm such a fool and didn't realise. I regretted, tried finding him but failed. Recently finally found him, he is attached. I'm happy for him as its a guy that will not hurt his anymore, will not leave him like how I did.. I'm happy for you, no matter where I am.

The story have come to the end but not like fairy tales, the story does not have an Happily Ever After Ending.
          

2012 1st POST!

Hey Peek!
It's 2012 already..... and I'm 23 this year already! haha...

I have offically complete 3 reservist cycle and promoted to 1st assistant Manager..

7 more year I will complete all reservist cycle and also be at the age of 30..

Seriously I don't even know what I can achieve at the age of 30.. Now I'm stuck in a position that I don't know should I resign or stay on with McDonald. I have been working in McD sinces a student and till now working adult, from a crew to now a 1st assistant but the company changes so much that I can hardly recongise it.

It use to be so fun working in this big family but now it had all change... It's no longer about fun at work, it's always about not meeting sale and target and promoting the wrong people in the company.
So many wrongly promoted people in the office, so many "I don't know" manager on the ground. I'm so sick and tired going to work everyday now.. I use to love it so much that I can spend all my off day in the store doing staff but now, I don't even want to go to work..

So many thoughts in mind but can't put them into work.. So many goals to achieve but can't pen down to plan. I'm so tired of living, tired of waking up daily thinking of RT,work, Sales, Target, Promotion, Manager not happy. ...

Transtition Period

I'm getting tired going after manager to do their task, to listen and follow message pass down from HQ.

I use to be very hard on my manager in CPP and that makes all of them scare and worry when they see the schdeule if they are working with me. Yet now in TPL1, they seem to be taking me for granted for me being kind to them and given them chances after chances to change.

Yvonne once said; You can slack and play around, even if you don't meet your min expactation as a manage. You still get your salary but do you feel good spending the money that is not hard earn by you?

I can confidently said that I'm able my job expectation but sadly to say, many manager just do lesses then their min expectation as a manager and still happliy get their salary and spend. They are just heartless freak.

Time flies, It's 2012..
Looking back past year, I guess I haven much accomplish much in life..

Work
Been in TPL1 for the past 1 year 10 month. From a TFM to nw a 2nd Assistant.. Thought I have much settle down at work but I start to think, what more I can get from the work? Job sasitifation is not as high as it use to be.. I love working with the team as there is alway fun and laughter while at work but ever sinc Yvonne left wrk seem to be a little more bored I will say. No more high expectation from boss making team very slack down, we no longer strive for excellent but we start to find fault in each other job

I have crew telling me, Chris, why have you slacked down so much after yvonne left, is it you don't like new boss. My answer to it; it's not that I don't like new boss, it' just that I will truely said that her expectation is not as high as what yvonne had set for me. I'm so use to set high expectation to myself so as I will not fall too far behind yvonne expectation. I feel bad at times whn I sees yvonne as I know, I have fail her expectation.

What happened in 2011 has already happend and I can't change them anymore so moving forward, here's the GOAL for myself in 2012.

1) Never jump onto things without getting true FACT of incident.
2) To be fair to all crew and take care of them like how Yvonne does
3) Never shout at manager at work ( I know I always do that and it's really a major dis-respect thus I have to change)
4) To use more PLEASE and THANK YOU.
5) Read up more on basic station knowledge ( I have slacked too much from it)

You might be thinking, where is the goal to be promoted 1st Assistant. I believe the more I think of promotion the more promotion won't come as I always will think to do more EXTRA but not my job. I guess if I can work to prefect the above 5 goal I'm already am a 1st Assistant to myself.

Family
I guess I have grown up alittle in family matters. I no longer hate mum as much, I no longer hate brother as much. I no longer blame dad for not working.

All this blaming and disliking people only make my feel worse. loving them might be a better option to make them love me more back.

Love
This 4 letter work really have a very deep meaning that I will not understand. I have been always very despo wanting to be attach and alway get hurt or hurt people after breaking up. I guess I should just stay alone untill I know how to love myself then I can truely go love others.

Growing up never been fun for me but I guess learning stage have long past after the age of 21. Nw, it's time to put what I have learn into practics.

Chris.

Random post...

Life been quite suck for me now.. Everyday working and working but salary forever don't seem to be enough for my 8 off day a month... hais.. I bad to the 100 over debt life again.. next month gonna tighten my belt and save money... =(

As per usual.. Break down blogging..

Work!!!
18 month in TPL1.. Learn alot and next month, there is going to be a change.. my beloved 1st ass transfering out.. No more uncle, no moce people to play with le.. =( another one is my beloved bitch.. She is going to THDB too.. That mean what ever left in store is just for me to push hard on other then kaiseng.. cos till now, I still think he is 1000 time more hardworking then me... Next month is a smaller team so hopefully can get better result.. =D

RCIP coming next montH!!! WEEEEE!!!! HAHA

Family!!
Not going to say much bout this fuck up family.. Just one short one.

zhong gt knock down by car.. but nothing serious.. (He still don't learn his lesson and go running around.. Give up on him le.. )


Love!
Few boy in my life currently
Thomas: Nice guy but abit mad mad de.. Scary...
Marvin : Nice guy =D
Kira: Small boi.. No hope de la...

Personal:

Nothing much.. Just came back from malaysia one day trip with Yvonne, Kaiseng, Dorsi and Kak Foush. =D Have so much fun there... Going Uturn after Uturn haha... =D


NIght lor pple`

Reservist is coming in a month time.. and I'm still hating it. Really wonder why singapore govt wanna create such a stupid thing that really don't help much to anyone. If really come war time, how many singaporean will come save the country when they come to sense that we have been FORCE to serve two year and 10 year cycle. It's just so lame la. Dunno is I childish or that the system that Singapore govt implement is dumb. Fucking CB de can. Hais.

I just hope Oct Mid month faster come. So at least 1 cycle gone. Hope that the reservist unit dun give trouble to me, if not I will play more stun to let them really cannot stand me.

I saw his profile again. I cried. I hate it .. I really hate it.. FUCK MY LIFE! =(