Reservist is coming in a month time.. and I'm still hating it. Really wonder why singapore govt wanna create such a stupid thing that really don't help much to anyone. If really come war time, how many singaporean will come save the country when they come to sense that we have been FORCE to serve two year and 10 year cycle. It's just so lame la. Dunno is I childish or that the system that Singapore govt implement is dumb. Fucking CB de can. Hais.

I just hope Oct Mid month faster come. So at least 1 cycle gone. Hope that the reservist unit dun give trouble to me, if not I will play more stun to let them really cannot stand me.

I saw his profile again. I cried. I hate it .. I really hate it.. FUCK MY LIFE! =(

OMFG

It's been years since I last post.. OMG.. So many things happened la...

1) A break up with MICKEY HO CHUEN HUI

2) Reservist Next Month

3) Salary not out due system error..

1) The break up is a major hit on to me.. It make me fall real hard on to the ground, so hard that I feel that I can't stand up anymore. The only reason for me to stand up now is because of Andy, I know he is in a bad shape after the break up with JC. That's why the more I got to be happy (Even if i'm not) to cheer him up, so that he won't think of those things again.I know he can't be 100% back to himself but, I will still try my best to help. Sometime I feel so useless cause I can't help him much also. He been there for me most of the time when I need him the most but yet now, I can't do much to help. I feel real bad. Sorry andy.

Mickey break up really make me sad and emo for days .. Every night, I will try to watch video or surf net in order not to think of him. I know I can't live this way long, but I can't think of another way. To other, they always think that Chris alway break up from r/s de so will be fine after few day, but actually, if u believe, till now, I still miss Andy Lai, Adler Koh, Melvin Tan, Christopher Lee and Mickey alot. Even though I know how much they hurt me down in my heart. I choose my life to be a AJ. So I also will not regret bout this choice.

2) Bad things come together, reservist is coming next month.. Although I'm okay with it. but the problem is that they dun sent me any letter to tell me what to bring or prepare that really pissed me off, i'm going to give them till month end. If no letter or uniform sent over then I will get back with them ba.. Even reservist also need me to follow up myself.. What the hell rite.. .Singapore Govt some time really suck

3) My salary is not out. Although it was due to my boss accidentally deleted my acc due to wanted to promote me in system. so I blame no one for it, just my plain unluckyness.

With so many things that happened, I always hope that someone will be beside me all the time, be it family or friend. but Seem like they are all in their own problem too.. Like Andy r/s problem and Joey jie de family problem. even May which is just new and close to me have a problem that she is pregnant too. I guess I'm just a jinx.

Nw at Andy ang hse playing majong.. actually I dun really know how to play..

so change to SD play.. =)

Been really stress over the bill problem.. Even that I know tat jaysen willing to lend me the money.. I just don't feel like lending the money.. Not becos i dun like jaysen, is just that I don't want like when I need your help then be your fren when I don't need your help i will dun care you.

Hais.. Dunno what I should do... Someone tell me how to get out of all this mess hao ma?

Dhaslie and Gene bout really seldom find me go out le.. maybe they have forgetten me or I'm their fren.. Gene is busy with his bf so dun really blame them...

I'm just a dumb guy that every time when I fall in love I cannot get myself out of it.. Even when i tired very hard to dun think, I can't.

Never mind... Dun say le.. Anyway, this is jus a dead blog. cos, I blog for no one and no reason. this is just a place for me to de stress abit for the past 3 year..

Christopher

Feb 2010 End

Feb 2010 will be ending in 2 days time and I'm still the same old me.

Nth much have been improve by me..

but more problem is coming to me and I have to face it.

Money Problem: Bill are coming and due to my lousy money sense, I in deep shit of debt and haven money problem with meal and transport upon ORD.

Solution: Can't think of any yet.

R/S Problem: Actually not much of a problem other then can't forget Melvin and a Jed & Benjamin

wanting to woo me.

Solution: Dunno

Study: Want to further study.. but dunno how to start...

Solution: ANDY HELP!! haha

Conclusion I think it's time for me to wake up and start working my ass off..

My Little Goal:

Promotion to 2nd assistant in 1 year and 1st assistant in 5 year..

Time to work!

Christopher

Back at home after a long day at camp today..

Morning reported to SOC at queenstown for RT but really not feeling well.. So PTI ask me go see doctor at polyclinic nearby.. doctor gave me 1 week of excuse from physical training, so i'm excuse from IPPT tmr...

After that cab back to cab and rest in office till 1, went out to eat brunch at BK. After that slack till 5.30pm and Fuck off from camp le..

Life starting to get more and more boring now aday. Dunno why. I'm starting to get sick of NS life.. I wonder how will life be after NS.. Hope it will be better.

Next tuesday I'm going for a job interview for McDonald's As a Floor Manager.. How everything be fine.

Realyl Super sian la.. Hais..

Christopher

Many back stabbing is happened in camp now. All this happened very out of sudden. Nobody know why, or at least, no one in our group of SC know.

When to Boot camp at SOC for the past 2 day.. was fun.. but did make me ache alot.. After boot camp today, stay behind to pick up the new intake and bring them back to base.

Got to know all the back stabbing story.. Nv knew that Wanting and ronald was the one that stab us.. Good one. You betray my trust. Nice one.

The war have begin and I will show u all what I can do to defend. Don't touch me or I will show you what I will do to revenge. Make my word.

chriis

在爱情的事界， 你永远站在付出比较多的一方。受的伤害也比他多一倍

Many thing happened with me having nobody to talk to bout.

Really emo but putting on a happy front for ppl to this

This time I really did it.. and everybody believe le.

I feel so lonely now..

i hate this feeling but i can't change it.

Finger really hurt.. Injured at the wrong timing.. Nobody will care bout me getting pain now..

I trust no one now

No matter who i tell

information will still go back to the person that i dun want

them to know cos i know they will get hurt. I hate it.

I'm leaving

Chris hate himself for being born in such a family where Chris have a bitch mother that blame her kids that she marry such a useless husband. but have she ever think thru bout it that, Chris wasn't born before you two fucking get married. so why are you fucking putting the blame on me? Chris is only 21 this year. yet for the pass 21 year. never had once had him had a happy day to leave by not needed to worried bout the bill and the house loan. You go around asking, who on earth will make a 14 year old kids to work and support himself till now? YOU FUCKING GO ASK!

If you really think someone is to be blame for all this. BLAME YOURSELF!!! CCB You never know how much damage you have done to your kid. Maybe it's because I owe you too much then this lifetime have to pay you back. Don't worry.. If you keep on pushing, you will be the first one in Singapore to FORCE YOUR OWN KIDS TO DIE. I promise. Although I'm scare of dying, but I dun mind eat 3 boxes of panedol and die in my own room. People may think "Come on, you die in your room she confirm will know de lei" but you are wrong. Like what I tell everybody, SHE DUN FUCKING CARE IF I'M DEAD OR WHAT! CCBKNN...

I really hate her.. hate this family. To the core.. once I have the money to leave I will..

McD will only hired me as a Floor Manager which is part time then slowly promote. I didn't tell her, I'm also not intending to tell her. It's time to show her. How bad his son can be when she step over the fucking line. It's time ... For me to create a mess of her life and die.

Who ask her from the start to make me feel like a unwanted child. Who ask her to make me feel like a child with no parent?

WHO FUCKING CB ASK HER!!!!!!!!! PJO HKL; SR JO; S JIO;SG JO; HIO; KNNBCCB

FUCK


This is how I feel.. only.. what my heart be thinking all this while.

Maybe I should really go.. Maybe I should .. I dunno...
Dear, Genie, Kak, JC, AA & shirley.. Should I? i only tag 6 of u is becos .. I trust that you all will keep to yourself..

I dunno why am i feeling emo /sad now. I'm so numb to the feeling of emo and sad le.. I t's seem to be so normal for me to feel that way.. I sometime really hate myself..

I have far to many things to worry plus a mother and father that don't care bout me at all. I hate it..

Ppl that once enter my heart nv leave.. It's make my heart so small now.. With them not leaving.. I'm left with so little space to let other in.

I

am

crying

but

I

dunno

why

Chris

EMO!!!!!!!!!!

Was looking thru photo just now.. Saw melvin tan photo.. gt the urge to sms/call him..

Maybe I know I will do it sometime after the breakup.. so i didn't save his number.. Now.. I totally forgotten his number.. no way i can contact him le.. I hate myself for can't let go of things..

Adler, Alvin, Melvin all this is in the past le.. But .. I just can't let go of them.. No matter wat they did.. I just can't forget them.. Maybe that's me ba.. I can't change it..

Anyway, I'm going KL on the 22-25 with bosses and few SA fren.. Hope I can enjoy there.. I'm really tired of my life.. I dunno what I can expect from ppl...

My mum and Dad is a problem.. My brother another.. Myself also another.. Problem just come one after another.. Every time when I think I think I can be positive, the next minutes, negative things start pouring into my brain . Hais.. Life been good for me so far.. I wun say it's fair cos it's not.. but it's not bad..

2010 have started for 4 days.. means I'm going to ORDs in 9 week time.. Time really flies when you think back in BMT with SQ10 and FI Fedrick. Now, I have been a Police for 1 year ++ many things happend though out the duration. Dog bite, heart break, losing of fren, losing of Authority. I can say it has been a meaningful 2 year for me..

2010 my wish is simple.

1) Get Attach

2) Have a BIG 21 Celebration!

3) Earn enough money to own a car.

Wishes are not realistic so I dun have high hope for it.. 2 & 3 I can work hard for it.. but.. 1 I can't do it alone..

Christopher

(Can't sleep now.. I really hope to get a warm hug from someone that truly love me)

T_T