Ink of today post show's my mood.

I felt so hollow in my heart now..

I don't understand or know why

I felt so cold, i wanted andy's hug again..

I thought I won't have let it past,

but why do it have to

come back to me.

Tear flowing as I key in today entries..

Many things had happened this year's

I, from a normal guy turn into a Bi, and now, almost a

AJs..

Had a wonderful stead, but two-time her.

In the past, I aways say that I can be the most devolted stead.

Right now, my heart had turn hollow with no feeling. other then

bleeding after bleeding blood.. It can do nothing at all..

My Life now is in a total mess.

Family: Mum forever nagging bout money, dad forever at

home doing nothing & Zhong, forever the mindset would'nt grow up to think

Friend: Other then Leo, I really don't think I have true friend.

They look for me only when they need help after that,

I will be dump aside..

BGR: Once had a gal which is perfect but I just don't think

I suit her.. Given my Status of Bi.

BBR: After Andy, I didn't stead with any other guy. Or should I

say I'm fucking ugly that nobody wants me. Talk to aaron just now, he is now

happiey attached. I just hate myself.

I haven really thought about this question for a long time,

but I suddendly think that, If one day I go missing or pass away, will people still remember that there is this person call Zhihao(Christopher).

Who will be the first one to seach for me high and low? Who?

I really dunno, someone or somegod, please guide

me out of this mess.. I really need help..

Many things happend today at K9, but i have completely no mood to say

anything bout it.

forget it man..

Till then..

Fucked oFF.@#$%^&*()